It seems that I’m more “prone to wonder” when things in life are going well. It almost doesn’t appear logical but for me it is the case.
Everyone I have ever known well enough that we share the deep intricacies of our souls, has revealed something within themselves that is dark. Regardless of our “saved” status we still have darkness dwelling within. We can tell ourselves over and over again that we are ‘new creations’, which I believe to be true, but reality is that we still have to walk with our Redeemer. Yes, He has saved us from all of our iniquities, all of our wicked choosing. Unlike most, when we share the darkness within our souls with Him, He will not turn away in disgust or appalling shock. He will put His arms around you, pull you in tightly and nuzzle His nose into your neck. You can feel his breathing on your shoulder and all is forgotten. Forgiveness is best when you feel it’s embrace.
Being forgiven feels indescribable. Regardless of how indescribable the experience was, life starts again when you pull back, letting go of one another and turn to continue walking together. It’s this restart that is the most arduous. The moment we commit to the restart, we are effectively “putting our hands to the plow”.
There have been times when I didn’t want to leave the embrace of the Divine. When I resist letting go of Jesus I become an empty shell of the man I was created to be. Our choosing to sin causes us to fall into the arms of Christ. It’s in those arms that we can become lifeless, shells of men, shells of women, formerly vibrant and full of hope. It’s not the embrace of Jesus that depletes our souls. On the contrary, Christ is the giver of Hope. When we linger in the embrace because we are afraid to let go, we forget what Hope is. We have transitioned from knowing hope to only knowing the security of an embrace.
Christianity (or the church) was never meant to be a security blanket.
We live as the church is our security blanket. We linger in it’s embrace, confusing it with the Divine’s. It’s in this prolonged cuddling we convince ourselves that life is built from our safe, secure beliefs. What if life isn’t built from a safe, secure belief system but rather a messy journey full of doubt, sin and grace?
The Americanized version of Christianity is so structured that we know little of faith, we only know belief.
Today, may you begin to walk in Hope.
May your heart beat for the things God’s heart beats for.
May your faith begin to shift from belief to doubt, from sitting in the warm and familiar to moving into the cold wilderness of the unknown.
We need to move beyond belief. The best way is to let go of Jesus. He would want you to.
Grace and Peace