For the past two days I’ve been incredibly down. I’ve felt like someone spiritually ran me over with a steam roller then came back around picked me up and did it again. It’s weird because I’ve been very positive lately about business not being well and us not being at the top of our game financially speaking. But yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks. The weight was heavy.
I struggled all morning to find some sort of motivation to do something, some sort of inspiration to fight back but I couldn’t find it. I even kept telling myself to not allow this feeling to get the best of me. The last I wanted to do was allow this “spiritual low” to control my attitude and how I went about my day. Despite the pep talks, I continued to flow down the hill into the valley.
Then I read this by Oswald Chambers:
There is no such thing as a private life, or a place to hide in this world, for a man or woman who is intimately aware of and shares in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. God divides the private life of His saints and makes it a highway for the world on one hand and for Himself on the other. No human being can stand that unless he is identified with Jesus Christ. We are not sanctified for ourselves. We are called into intimacy with the gospel, and things happen that appear to have nothing to do with us. But God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way. If you refuse, you will be of no value to God in His redemptive work in the world, but will be a hindrance and a stumbling block.
The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, “Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine.” If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?
After reading this I didn’t “arise and shine” immediately but I’m on my way. I find that when I commit to doing something for the betterment of the world or the community around me that I’m often spiritually ambushed soon after. I don’t know if it’s me or Satan or my fear of what’s to come but I do know that I can’t lie down anymore. I do know that my life will not be lived in a valley. I feel like I’ve been on the uphill climb for 3 years now and I’m not sure where the mountain top is, but I’m excited to get above the tree line so I can see the beauty in the distance. At this moment I can only see two feet in front of me and that’s on a good day. Perhaps this is the way God needs me to walk right now – I’m not sure but I would love a little more visibility.
Life is tricky. It’s fickle. It is what you make it. I’m working on making my life to be something great and I’m realizing that without the light of the lamp that I carry, I won’t get far.
Today, may you look ahead and push forward.
May nothing in your life push you back down.
May you find strength and hope in the valley.
What you need sustain you to climb the mountain is found in the valley.
Grace and Peace